Gift list etiquette can be confusing and conflicting – partly because wedding gift lists are a relatively new phenomenon. We’ve answered some of the most common questions which couples ask about wedding gift list etiquette.
We’re not sure about having a gift list because we don’t want our guests to feel obliged to buy us a gift. What should we do?
Guests understand when couples get married it’s because they love each other – not because they’re looking for wedding gifts! If you decide to have a gift list you can choose your wording carefully to ensure that your guests don’t feel obliged to buy a gift. For example, a popular phrase to use is “It’s your presence, not your present, that we want!”
Even if you don’t want your guests to buy gifts for you, you’ll find that most people still want to give a gift as they feel it’s the right thing to do – and they want to mark the occasion with a gift. Without a gift list to guide your guests you could find yourselves inundated with gifts which you don’t really want. If you really don’t want any gifts for yourselves, why not consider charity gifts? Or you could ask for tree gifts which will grow and mature (just like your marriage!) as well as offsetting carbon emissions.
Should we send details of our gift list with our wedding invitations?
When couples started using gift lists it was not accepted etiquette to include details of a gift list with a wedding invitation. However, as gift lists have become increasingly popular, times have changed and so has the etiquette. It has become much more the norm – and it’s simpler – to let guests know where a gift list has been set up and saves guests trying to contact the bridal party to find out. It’s highly unlikely that guests will take offense. Most gift list companies can provide you with invitation inserts which you can send to guests.
If you don’t feel comfortable including your gift list information with invitations and you’ve got a wedding website, this is a great – and discrete – way for guests to get the all-important details about your wedding and your gift list. All couples who register with Nearly Married get a free wedding website which they can add lots of info and pictures to and their gift list is automatically integrated into their wedding website.
Should our evening guests be given details of our gift list?
If you don’t expect your evening guests to give you a gift, don’t include information about your gift list with their invitations. If you’ve got a wedding website this is a great way for them to find out if you have a gift list, without having to ask.
Is it OK to ask for money for general use or our honeymoon?
Many couples already have the traditional household items which were often given as gifts such as toasters, kettles, towels and bedding. That’s why couples often feel that it would suit them better to ask for money which they can use towards something special, such as their honeymoon. If you’re saving towards a deposit on a house, furniture or a new kitchen and would appreciate money towards that why not ask for contributions on your gift list? It is becoming far more the norm for couples to ask for money – but our advice is to let guests know what the money will be spent on so that your guests feel that they’ve contributed towards a specific item rather than giving money which could be spent on household bills or your entertainment expenses! The Nearly Married gift list service lets you customise gifts of money with your own gift name, description, price and picture so you can ask for anything you want!